Reflections on the BIG 4 0 . . .

I went to bed shortly before midnight and was up at 6:00 am. That kind of thing used to be pretty easy to pull off, but as I stood and looked in my bathroom mirror this morning i was somewhat startled to see a tired, baggy-eyed, thinning-haired 40 year old man looking back at me. The BIG 4 0 finally hit today, and believe it or not, i'm still trying to pull myself up off the emotional canvas of my life.

Someone once said that, "inside of every old person is a 17 year old wondering, 'What the heck just happened?!?'" I would have to say that I wholeheartedly concur.

And even though I've only been processing this for the past 12 hours or so, what I'm coming to realize is that it's not so much the growing old that bothers me, but rather it's coming to grips with the reality that so many of the things I've wanted to do (see, hear, feel, experience) in this life, will probably never be realized.

I guess that I've officially entered into my mid-life crisis.

As I get ready to go to bed now, (the time is 11:49 pm) I have reached a few conclusions...

1. I need to start going to bed earlier.
2. I need to stop living in the past. I need to let go of my mistakes, regrets, transgressions, etc. and turn and face the future with a plan. I didn't have a plan for the first 40 years, but successful "old people" all seem have a life plan.
3. I need to stop FEARING the FUTURE.
4. I need to love God more, my wife more, my kids more and myself less.

So that's it. 40 years of life experience and that's all i've got... well at least at 11:54 pm. Good night.